1 Timothy Series - Part 10

“Widows, and Widows Indeed – Part 1”

1 Timothy 5:1-8 (Message #10 in 1 Timothy Series)

INTRODUCTION:

            After last Sunday’s sermon from 1 Timothy 4:12-16 a dear lady emailed me with some comments. She wrote: “My husband and I want to say we really appreciate your messages. However, he and I had to smile to one another when I looked ahead and saw what 1 Tim. 5:1 says: ‘Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father.’” They are undoubtedly wondering how I am going to extricate myself after the comments I made last Sunday about older believers needing to value and affirm the younger leaders coming up in the church. In that message I pointed out the fact that many times older folks underestimate the skills and contributions of younger people, and I stand by that. However, the flip side is what we want to look at today. Turn in your Bibles to 1 Timothy chapter 5.

TRANSITION:

            In this next section Paul switches things around somewhat, but it all fits together in the end. In the same way that older folks should value and affirm the younger ones, Paul makes it clear that in the church younger people should show respect and appreciation for the elder saints. In 4:12-16 Paul told Timothy, if you want people to follow you and give you the honour and respect at is your due then make sure that you provide a good example for them to follow, being a model Christian in your speech, in conduct, in your love for people, in your faith in God, and in your purity of lifestyle. Now here in chapter 5 he continues with this same theme: namely, if you want the older people to treat you right, then you have to treat them right as well.  You cannot treat them with disdain and disrespect and expect that they will support you. I should never expect to receive respect, honour, and loyalty from people to whom I do not first show respect, honour, and loyalty. That is just a principle of working with people, no matter what their age. Now look with me at verse 1 of chapter 5.

MAIN BODY:

Verses 1-2: Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appeal to him as a father, to the younger men as brothers, ² the older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters, in all purity. 

• Now this is plain good advice. We do not win friends and influence people by chewing them out and rebuking them sharply, to use Paul’s words, but rather by gently and calmly and humbly appealing to them.
• “…appeal to him as a father.” The white-haired saints of God are not to be pushed around, abused, or ignored; they are to be loved, honoured, and revered as fathers and mothers. Paul tells Timothy not to deal with these older saints as he would with the younger ones. He is not to rebuke them for some petty fault that they may have, but rather entreat them to do better.
• “…in all purity.” Why does Paul add that? What does he mean by it? On the one hand, this phrase could apply to dealing with all four of these classes of people in the church—older men, younger men, older women, and younger women—meaning that Timothy should deal with all four kinds of people with absolutely pure and honest motives, with no hidden agendas. On the other hand, because of its placement I think the phrase is more specific as to how Timothy needs to deal with the younger women in the church. In interpersonal dealings with older people or with other guys, the average pastor is not going to have to contend with his personal sexual feelings. However, when dealing with younger women, Paul is simply reminding Timothy of the added concern to not get involved physically or romantically. Keep your hands to yourself. Knock off the hugging. Keep your distance. Put a bridle on your thoughts so they do not run amuck. Younger women in the church need to be treated with love and respect, as we would treat our sisters. Eyes forward, cowboy! Do not even think about it!

Verse 3: Honour widows who are widows indeed; 

• “Honour widows” James tells us in James 1:27, “Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.”  This is basic, bottom-line Christianity, and God takes it very seriously. How we treat the weakest and most vulnerable among us is something to which God pays close attention. He loves widows and orphans and we had better love and honour them too, or else we will answer to Him for our neglect.
• “Honour widows who are widows indeed” What is that about? Aren’t all widows in the same boat? The answer is, NO! To understand and appreciate this situation you have to mentally go back to the first century AD. First of all, you need to know that a high percentage of people living under the domination of Rome were actually slaves. It has been estimated that slaves constituted 30-40% of the population of the Empire, with percentages in Italy running at 50-60%. That means that many of the people who were being converted to Christianity and coming into the churches were slaves. Now slaves had almost no rights. When a slave woman was widowed you can imagine that she was instantly in dire straits. In that day it was not uncommon that a woman who lost her husband would have absolutely no income from which to live, and so it was more needful in that day, even than it is today, that the church care for the widows who were “widows indeed.” And even widows who were not slaves were often left in total poverty.  Remember, widows were particularly vulnerable in ancient societies because no pensions, government assistance, life insurance, or the like were available to them. And in most cases they were not allowed to inherit upon the death of their husbands.
• Secondly, Christianity was born into a world of existing religions, fanatical religions that were very antagonistic to the Gospel and the biblical message of One God, of Jesus the only Saviour, and of salvation by grace alone through faith alone, apart from works. Whether in the Greek religions, the Roman religions, or Judaism, to convert to Christianity could easily get you killed, by your own relatives, just like what happens today when a Muslim converts to Christianity. Not only that, women were not held in high esteem by most of those cultures in the sense that wives were seen as the possessions of their husbands, even in Judaism. So, if a woman converted to Christianity, whether she was Greek, Roman, or a Jewess, she could be thrown out on her ear by her unbelieving husband, and it happened all the time. The early congregations had lots of women who had suffered this fate, divorced by their husbands and cut off from any family contacts, even with her own children. These women became outcasts with no means of financial support. When Paul uses the term, “widows indeed” this is what he is talking about. These were women with absolutely no means of support and no one in the world to care for them.
• On the other hand, there were widows whose spouses had died, leaving them widowed. They still had their homes, their children, and their possessions. They still had some structure and support in their lives. And they also had some hope of one day meeting a good man and getting remarried, so they would have their eyes open and be spending time on E-Harmony.com and Christian Mingle and other websites like those. Whereas, the “widows indeed” had almost no hope of ever getting remarried because to have been rejected, divorced, and disinherited was the kiss of death. Other men would not see them as marriageable material.

Verse 4: …but if any widow has children or grandchildren, they must first learn to practice piety in regard to their own family and to make some return to their parents; for this is acceptable in the sight of God. 

• So here is an altogether different scenario. The widow mentioned here has family to support her and provide for her. She has children and grandchildren or other extended family. In that case, Paul makes it clear that it is the family’s responsibility, not the church’s, to care for that lady. The word “they” refers not to the woman but to her family members. They are the ones who must “first learn to practice piety in regard to their own family and to make some return to their parents.” 
• “This is acceptable in the sight of God.” The word here translated as  “acceptable” is stronger than it first appears. It actually means, “correct,” signifying that it is the right thing to do in God’s sight. When a woman has family who can step in and take care of her physical and financial needs then the church should not be expected to fill that role. It is the clear responsibility of her children and grandchildren.

Verse 5: Now she who is a widow indeed and who has been left alone has fixed her hope on God and continues in entreaties [petitions] and prayers night and day. 

• So now Paul goes back to discuss the case of those women who are “widows indeed,” who are truly alone without personal or family resources. In her case, her trust and her eyes are fixed on God, who is her only hope for survival, and she hammers on the door of Heaven asking for God’s intervention on her behalf. Jesus told a story of just such a widow in Luke 18:1-8.  Listen:

Then Jesus told His disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. ² He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought. ³ And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’  ⁴ “For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, ⁵ yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’” ⁶ And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. ⁷ And will not God bring about justice for His chosen ones, who cry out to Him day and night? Will He keep putting them off? ⁸ I tell you, He will see that they get justice, and quickly.”

• Turn to Luke 2:36-37 and I will show you another example of the kind of “widow indeed” that Paul was thinking about. “And there was a prophetess, Anna the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was advanced in years and had lived with her husband seven years after her marriage, ³⁷ and then as a widow to the age of eighty-four.  She never left the temple, serving night and day with fastings and prayers.” 

Verse 6: But she who gives herself to wanton pleasure is dead even while she lives. 

• Here Paul shifts to yet another scenario, that of a younger widow who lives in the obsessive quest of finding another man, getting married, and having children. Perhaps being tempted to lower her moral standards to get what she wants and thinks she needs, she runs the risk of falling into sin, in which case Paul says she walks in death, even while she is alive physically. Such a woman is not a candidate for the church’s widow support ministry. Paul will deal at length with her character and her situation in the verses immediately following this morning’s text but suffice it to say that not every widow falls under the fiscal responsibility of the church. There are rules laid down. Without giving comment let me just read the next section from the New Living Translation. This shows what Paul had in mind. I am reading verses 9-16.

“A widow who is put on the list for support must be a woman who is at least sixty years old and was faithful to her husband. ¹⁰ She must be well respected by everyone because of the good she has done. Has she brought up her children well? Has she been kind to strangers and served other believers humbly? Has she helped those who are in trouble? Has she always been ready to do good? ¹¹ The younger widows should not be on the list, because their physical desires will overpower their devotion to Christ, and they will want to remarry. ¹² Then they would be guilty of breaking their previous pledge. ¹³ And if they are on the list, they will learn to be lazy and will spend their time gossiping from house to house, meddling in other people’s business, and talking about things they shouldn’t. ¹⁴ So I advise these younger widows to marry again, have children, and take care of their own homes. Then the enemy will not be able to say anything against them. ¹⁵ For I am afraid that some of them have already gone astray and now follow Satan. ¹⁶ If a woman who is a believer has relatives who are widows, she must take care of them and not put the responsibility on the church. Then the church can care for the widows who are truly alone.”

Verse 7: Prescribe these things as well, so that they may be above reproach. 

• This verb “prescribe” is the same one used back in 4:11. It means “to charge, or to command.” I believe that the “they” refers both to the younger widows and to the members of the families with means to take care of their mothers. The command is for them so that they will step up to the plate and do the right thing with regard to their loved one.

Verse 8: But if anyone does not provide for his own [i.e. his near relatives], and especially for those of his household [i.e. his immediate family], he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 

• Here Paul tells Timothy and the Ephesians that failure to provide is a denial of the Christian faith, and in God’s sight, makes one worse than an infidel.

CONCLUSION:

            Let me leave with you a few concluding thoughts from this text. I say without apology that children who are financially able to care for their aged parents and give them a comfortable home are scripturally obligated to do so. After all, they cared for us when we could not care for ourselves. We owe our physical existence to their care and provision, and certainly we should appreciate what they have done for us enough to care for them in the declining years of their lives.

Nowadays it is common for people to turn their aged parents over to a welfare agency or put them in old-folks homes rather than caring for them at home. In my opinion, this is a very poor way to repay parents for what they have done for their children, but it is also no small matter in the eyes of God, as we saw in verse 8. Clear back on Mount Sinai God gave the command: “Honour your father and your mother.” In Ephesians Paul reminds us that this is the first commandment “with promise.” If we honour our parents, we are promised a long life; if we do not, our days will be cut short upon this earth. God provides a special blessing to the children who care for their aged parents and to those who show kindness, love, and care toward the aged saints in the church and community.

Paul tells Timothy to instruct the believers in his congregation about these practical matters and to see that his flock is keenly aware of the will of God in this matter of social obligation. Churches often get caught up in arguments about how to show love to the world. We do food pantries, clothes closets, community suppers, etc. However, if we neglect to take care of these closest to us, namely, our elderly parents and family members how will the world take our love seriously?

And so I close with Paul’s words from verse four: ”…but if any widow has children or grandchildren, they must first learn to practice piety in regard to their own family and to make some return to their parents; for this is acceptable in the sight of God.” Real piety, real godliness, real Christianity is not doing what we think we should do, but rather, doing what God commands us to do—it is about obedience. That was the difference between Cain and Abel. Abel did what God required and commanded, and his sacrifice was accepted by God. Cain did what he thought was best, and his sacrifice was rejected.

This text today is about what we would call “practical theology”—putting feet to the faith. And what is that faith? Again I refer you to James’ answer in James 1:27. “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” If we really want to please God by the way we live our Christian lives, let’s start with these things: (1) Living holy lives; and (2) Caring for those who are most precious to Him. Simple, but not necessarily easy!