Character Studies #1 - Abigail

“Abigail – How to Deal with a Difficult Man”

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—The Life of Abigail—

1 Samuel 25

INTRODUCTION:

Sometimes small spiritual battles are the ones that bring us our defeats. The servant of God may conquer in a great fight and yet be beaten in a small one. In the presence of a great enemy, the utmost vigilance is maintained; every effort is strained, every resource is applied. In the presence of a small foe, the spirit of confidence, the sense of security, is liable to leave the flank unguarded and to pave the way for defeat. When we are confronted with a great trial we rally all our resources to bring them to bear against the foe, relying on the presence and power of God. But when it is a little trial, we are apt to meet it unarmed and unguarded and thus experience a humiliating defeat. 

TRANSITION:

The experience of Israel with their victory over Jericho followed by their bitter defeat at Ai, serves as a good example of what I am saying!

This also explains the distressing news we occasionally hear of some well-known and highly respected Christian leader who falls into sin and destroys his/her ministry. A man may have in him the spirit of the martyrs, being willing and ready to face dungeon or death rather than renounce his testimony or fail in his duties, and yet this same man may suffer defeat under the most ordinary temptations of everyday life. 

David won two large spiritual victories over his natural inclinations when he spared King Saul’s life on two separate occasions. These events are recorded in 1 Samuel 24 and 26. Both times he had the perfect chance to take the life of his enemy who was seeking to kill him. Both times he withstood the temptation saying that he would not smite the Lord’s anointed king.

However, in between these two victories comes chapter 25, in which David was presented with another situation, which could have been his undoing if it had not been for the intervention of a remarkable woman by the name of ABIGAIL. 

NOTES on the Text:

I. Abigail’s Situation (1 Samuel 25:2-3)

Abigail was the wife of Nabal:

·       Nabal was from the town of Maon, with business in the Carmel area.

·       He used pasture lands in the Wilderness of Paran area where David and his 600 men were in hiding from the army of King Saul.

·       Nabal was very rich, although it was probably inherited wealth.

·       He was a Calebite (cf. verse 3), meaning that he was a descendant of Caleb.

·       Ironically, his name meant “fool,” and it seems like he tried to live up to his name. Indeed, he was a fool both by name and by nature.

·       He is described as harsh and evil in his dealings.

·       He was married to Abigail, who is described as “intelligent and beautiful.” 

This begs the question… Why would a woman like Abigail be married to a clod like Nabal? I can think of two possible scenarios:

#1. Theirs may have been an arranged marriage. It often happened that the father of a lovely young girl would marry her off to the son of the village rich man.

#2. Maybe she married him for love, but he changed over time becoming surly, mean, and angry.

·        Abigail must have had great hopes and dreams of a happy marriage and home. What a disappointment! Nabal must have been a constant source of embarrassment to her because of the way he treated everyone, including her.

·       She had lived for years with this angry, difficult man. But even though she was in a difficult marriage, she continued to honor her vows and to trust God for support.

·       Today people would say they were “incompatible” and that she should bailout. People would point to his verbal, emotional, and perhaps even physical abuse as grounds for divorce.

·       Yet she hung in there and committed herself to God who is Himself committed to marriage.

·       However, she was also realistic about her marriage, not idealistic. She saw the problems and faced them squarely. Knowing Nabal for a fool in some ways, she did what she could to minimize the damage that he caused.

II. Abigail’s Character (verses 3 and 33)

1.    She was intelligent (lit. “good of understanding”)

2.    She was beautiful in appearance.

3.    She was discerning and wise.

4.    She was loyal to her husband, even though he was a nasty-tempered fool.

5.    She was quick thinking and resourceful.

6.    She was dignified, a real lady. 

III. David’s Need (verses 4-8)

·       He had 600 hungry men living in caves.

·       They were running for their lives, living off their enemies.

·       David and his men were protecting the Israelites against Bedouin raiders.

·       Nabal was shearing sheep in Carmel. It was a festive season of celebration (Spring),

o   A time to pay bills and settle old debts.

o   A time to help the poor.

o   A time to party for shepherds and shearers with lots of food and wine.

·       David (the anointed one) humbled himself to ask for help from Nabal who had already been helped by David. 

IV. Nabal’s Response (verses 9-11)

·       “Who is David? And who is the son of Jesse?” (He knew because everyone knew about David!)

·       “He must be a slave who has broken away from his master” (thinking that Saul would win).

·       Verse 11: Notice Nabal’s repetitious use of the words “I, me, and my.” “Shall I then take my bread and my water and my meat that I have slaughtered for my shearers, and give it to men whose origin I do not know?”

·       Verse 13 – David’s response, “Gird on your swords!” David’s 400 men were instantly ready to do battle.

·       Verse 14 says that a servant ran to Abigail and told her what happened. She took immediate action. The servant told her, “Behold, David sent messengers from the wilderness to greet our master, and he scorned them.” The word he used literally means, “flew at them.” The KJV says, “…he railed against them.” 

V. Abigail’s Solution (verse 23)

·       She brought the supplies that David’s men needed (verse 18).

·       She humbly offered these to David, falling on her face before him and bowing. 

VI. Abigail’s Arguments (verses 24-27)

N.B. Abigail had lived for years with an angry man. Now she faced another angry man, and she knew how to handle him.

1.    She took David completely by surprise by accepting all the guilt upon herself. In verse 24 she said that she was to blame! “It was my fault. I did not see your men arrive!”

2.    “Nabal is a worthless fool who is not worth killing.” (verse 25)

3.    In verse 26 she argues that the LORD, the righteous judge, lives, and reigns and has restrained you from shedding blood and avenging yourself up until now against Saul. Don’t mess up that record now. Remember, God is the Avenger of the wicked.

4.    In verse 28 she says, the LORD will give you an enduring house for you are fighting His battles, not your own. Therefore, you should not do this evil thing you are planning.

5.    She agreed that David had good reason to be angry and upset. She sympathized with his point of view. She agreed that Nabal was clearly wrong and had acted crudely and foolishly.

6.    In verse 29 Abigail reminded David that he was “bound in the bundle of the living” by the Lord. This is an old and beautiful metaphor from the custom of binding up valuable things in a bundle for safe keeping. She contrasts this with David’s enemies whom God will cast away like stones from a sling.

7.    Then in verses 30-31 she said, David, you do not want to do something that will forever sit heavy on your heart and conscience (i.e., shedding innocent blood without cause, avenging himself). 

VII. David’s Response

·       How many times has a good and level-headed woman kept a man from making the biggest mistake of his life? Many times, and this is another example.

·       David’s wrath was an outburst of sinful passion, unseemly in a servant of God. By carrying out his intention he would have sinned against the LORD and against his people. But the Lord preserved him from this sin by using Abigail.

·       Abigail knew that “a soft answer turneth away wrath.” And it worked! David realized that he was showing extreme carnality in his desire for vengeance against being slighted and insulted. He was operating from pride and unbridled rage.

·       In that moment, David recognized that God had sent Abigail to stop him from doing what he had set out to do. His anger simply melted away and disappeared. Abigail’s beauty, wisdom, courage, counsel, and dignity won his heart over.

·       Her dignity and integrity impressed him. She could have offered herself to David rather than the gifts. However, she did not use her feminine charms to lure him into calming down. Instead, she fell at David’s feet and set out to save her miserable husband’s life.

·       N.B. This would have been an ideal opportunity to rid herself of a bad situation in a way that would have left her free to marry a better man, but she did not stoop to that.

·       Through this experience Abigail became indelibly imprinted on David’s mind and heart! He must have thought Nabal even more the fool to have such a wife and to not realize what a treasure she was. Nevertheless, David respected her married state, even though married to a man like Nabal.

·       David turned his men back from their mission of death and destruction.

·       In verse 32 David blessed God for using Abigail to keep him from committing a horrible sin.

·       In verse 33 he blessed Abigail for herself and for her wise counsel and discernment, which kept him from needless bloodshed and from avenging himself by his own hand.

·       David thanked her and sent her back home with his blessing. 

VIII. Nabal’s End (verses 36-38)

·       Abigail went back home and found Nabal drunk again, like so many times before. She waited until the next day when he was sober to tell him what she had done. You might ask, “Why did she tell him?” I think it was because she was a woman of honesty and integrity and she wanted to be up front with Nabal and not have him find it out from someone else.

·       The Result? = “His heart died within him… he became as stone.”

·       Was it a stroke? Was it paralysis from fear? Was it God’s judgment? We do not know for sure, but 10 days later God struck Nabal dead. 

N.B. God set Abigail free!

·       She was faithful to the end.

·       There was no guilt for her.

·       Her conscience was clear.

Later, David heard that she was free. He asked her to marry him, which she did. 

CONCLUSION:

The moral is not:

…Do the right thing and God will reward you with a man like King David, but rather ...

The moral is:

…Learn to rely on God’s strength to abide under difficult circumstances (even living with a difficult man) and learn how to cope with anger. The testimony of a person living in adverse conditions is powerful to other people who are doing the same. 

P.S.

Abigail shared David’s fortunes and misfortunes:

·       She lived with him in Gath (1 Samuel 27:3)

·       She was kidnapped by Amalekites from Ziklag (1 Samuel 30:5)

·       She accompanied David to Hebron when he was made king (2 Samuel 2:2)

·       She bore David a son named Chileab (2 Samuel 3:3), aka Daniel (1 Chronicles 3:1)